…with many questions.

how did we get here?

has the government broken its civil contract with the populace to remain civilized?

have we become a nation of “for the people or by the people”?

is the system broken or will it self-correct?

has reason been replaced with fear, secrecy, and blind faith?

my intention is not to become preachy and insist that this book has all the answers. but i have come away with one solid resolution. that we must decide for ourselves through research and reasoning what is the best course for the future. to not rely upon solely what we are told.

the best place to be during sant joan in barcelona is the beach, so we planned to meet with some friends and set our place among the rest of the city residents along the shore. then we dug our heals into the sand for partying till sunrise. i didn’t manage to get any photos of the fireworks, but i did get this one of Mar Bella beach. yes, that is a sea of people right up to the edge of the sea.

so i wrote this on wednesday (june 25th) and was so jet lagged i forgot to publish it, woops…

dear friends,
some shmuck decided to hack his way on to my weblog and put a bunch of hidden links in my postings. it really !@#$%^ me off. hopefully none of you had to witness it.

thankfully all is fixed. never underestimate the power of a pissed off woman (and of course her close connections to computer geekery, aka husband)

sincerely,
fatballerinas

love and chivalry may be best left with dead poets, to read and enjoy but not to imitate. it is too hard in such an impersonal world. nah…i am too much of a romantic to believe that.

i should explain that in Spain the most common ingredient in cooking is olive oil, fry with it, grill with it, marinade with it. so it gets on everything in the kitchen. i think that the filter over the stove had gone untouched since the day it was installed. when i removed the hood and the single screw that held it in place, oil started dripping from everywhere. it oozed from the hole where the screw had been, trickled from the fan, and moved over the filter as if it was alive. i was having flash backs to the elevator scene in “Shining”. the oil was slowly making its way across all the surfaces of the kitchen. once out, what the hell do i do with it? anyone got any industrial degreasers on hand? a very deep grave to bury it? maybe some full arm length rubber gloves and a pair of goggles? what the hell did i think i was going to do? the voice in the back of my brain screamed it isn’t your apartment, it isn’t your problem just put it back and walk away…ahhhhhh. but i went looking where i shouldn’t have and now i was stuck. i had to try to clean it.

round one…soap. i felt like one of those volunteers using dish soap to clean a poor helpless bird after the exxon valdez. it was an exercise in futility. i scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. soapy foam everywhere. when i picked it up to look at my progress, it looked the same as when i started. not even a dent. well 10 years of grease build up against a light weight like soap. it was not surprising.

next…i tried coke. strange i know to send your husband out to the store for a few liters of coke and then have him watch you in digust as you pour it into the sink. what a waste. well after you read this you may never want to drink the stuff ever again. the stuff’s main ingredient is phosphoric acid. i have heard that it has many “wonderful” uses from cleaning the ring around your toilet, dissolving blood stains from asphalt, and cleaning engine parts at Coke bottling plants. not sure if that any of them are true but what the hell i will give it a try. it actually worked but the tiny two liters of coke were no match for that much grease. they went flat and left the filter half finished. there was no way i was going to convince my husband to sacrifice two more ounces of coke to my sick deed, and no way i was leaving the house. at this point i was covered in grease and colorful cleaning agents.

as my last ditch effort, i grabbed the “oxy-clean” crap that is supposed to be an additive for cleaner laundry. it has found its rightful place in the cleaning world. it ate through every little last ounce of putrid grease on the filter. the filter looked new. not a single sign of its most gruesome past. my husband asked if we had left it in there longer would we still have a filter? i replied probably not. i think oxy-clean would eat through the sink if we left it long enough.

so the grease is gone. the filter is back in place and the kitchen smells a little bit better now. (well except for the crappy u-bend - no water seal sink that is leaching toxic sewer gases into the apartment. but that is another story.) i am just glad that i was still suffering from a bad sinus infection at the time that had rendered my sense of smell completely useless. i shudder to think if i could have also smelled it as well as seen it…the horror, the horror.

from the blogger who brought you the fives stages of grief moving, now the untold story of one woman’s fight with the “subjunctives” and “pluperfect”. in a land of unintelligible signs, her love for a faithful dictionary and a quixotic verb table form a bond that may have to be surgically severed. she finds that “lost in translation” is a way of life in the five stages of bilingualdom.

school is for the young, especially when it comes to learning languages. i have for the past 6 months - lost my ability to speak my native tongue properly, smelt smoke coming out my ears from brain overload, and had to institute a personal napping policy for my well being. the following are my five stages…

• Stage I: The Silent/Receptive or Pre-emergent Stage. This stage can last from 10 hours to six months. Students often have up to 500 “receptive” words (words they can understand, but may not be comfortable using) and can understand new words that are made comprehensible to them. This stage often involves a “silent period” during which students may not speak, but can respond using a variety of strategies including pointing to an object, picture, or person; performing an act, such as standing up or closing a door; gesturing or nodding; or responding with a simple “yes” or “no.”

  ah yes the pantomime stage, i did very well in this stage. arms flailing about, it was funny.



• Stage II: The Early Production or Emergent Stage. The early production stage can last an additional six months after the initial stage. Students have usually developed close to 1,000 receptive/active words (that is, words they are able to understand and use). During this stage, students can usually speak in one- or two-word phrases and can demonstrate comprehension of new material by giving short answers to simple yes/no, either/or, or who/what/where questions. They can reproduce what they hear and recognize words in isolation.

  speaking like a 3 year old at 34 is a bit hard on the psyche.
  me want go now.



• Stage III: The Speech Emergence or Basic Stage. This stage can last up to another year. Students usually have developed approximately 3,000 words and can use short phrases and simple sentences to communicate. Students begin to use dialogue, can ask simple questions such as “Can I go to the restroom?” and are also able to answer simple questions. Students may produce longer sentences, but often with grammatical errors that can interfere with their communication.

  oh many a gaff has been laid during this stage. the most common expression is the “huh?” from friends and strangers. unfortunately here is were i reside for now.

• Stage IV: The Intermediate Language Proficiency Stage. Intermediate proficiency may take up to another year after speech emergence. Students have typically developed close to 6,000 words and are beginning to make complex statements, state opinions, ask for clarification, share their thoughts, and speak at greater length. They may be able to engage in conversation and produce sequential narrative.

  can’t wait to actually get my point across!

• Stage V: The Advanced Language Proficiency Stage. Gaining advanced proficiency in a second language can typically take from five to seven years.

  uh what! i haven’t got seven years….

“let this coming year be better than all the others. vow to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time. call up a forgotten friend. drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. vow not to make a promise you don’t think you can keep. walk tall, and smile more. don’t be afraid to say, ‘I love you’. say it again.”

my new year’s resolution, giving…

what if people could connect directly with public schools and teachers, learn about specific classroom needs, and choose how to help?

DonorsChoose.org is dedicated to addressing the scarcity and inequitable distribution of learning materials and experiences in our public schools. DonorsChoose.org will improve public education by engaging citizens in an online marketplace where teachers describe and individuals can fund specific student projects. we envision a nation where students in every community have the resources they need to learn.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school - Albert Einstein

you may be wondering, snow in barcelona?
not exactly. we are nestled in minneapolis for 10 days. brrrr. my brother, his wife and son arrived from ecuador, jason and i came in from spain. all we need is the 3 wise men from the orient and we have most of the continents covered.

i have been busy making my favorite christmas cookie.

empire biscuits
dough
1 lb of butter
1 cup of granulated sugar
4 cups of flour

1 jar of raspberry jam

icing
4 cups of powdered sugar
1/4 - 1/2 cup of milk
handful of red hots (cinnamon)

cream butter and sugar. add flour. roll dough directly and cut into round shapes. bake 350 degrees until slightly golden (will depend on how thick you cut the cookies). let cookies cool. add a spoonful of jam between two cookies. ice the top and add one red hot. yum

my wish for you and your family is that may all your days be merry and bright and may your christmas be white.

at some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. the grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. the death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief.

my five stages

1. denial

there is nothing wrong with a healthy helping of denial when you are moving half way around the world and landing smack dab in the middle of a culture you are not used to. hey its fun, exciting, an extended vacation. it is not that different. they eat, sleep and poop just like me. oh but how subtle mole hills in one’s routine become, in perception, the Alps. the small differences have added up to a very large haystack on this camel’s back. the sweet haze of denial has been broken…



2. anger?
3. depression?

one wouldn’t think that moving could cause such a reaction…or could you? over the last month, some of you may have noticed that the pages of fatballerinas have been devoid of any new ramblings. unfortunately, i got out of the denial stage and went foot first into the steaming pile of depression or anger (or both). oh and the smell! knowing that you are not the sweetest smelling person to be around can be hard. so what now….

maybe…

4. bargaining

i wonder what strange bargains i will try to make with the devil or god. not sure how excited i am to jump out of the pot of depression into the frying pan.

or perhaps…

5. acceptance

whatever the case, i hope that you will not mind reading about it over the next few months. i know i will have a good laugh at my own expense one day. it doesn’t feel very silly now, but i can’t wait until it is.

last night i went and saw Compañía Pisando Ovos perform N8 OHX. don’t ask me what the title means, but i know the name of the group means literally “stepping on eggs” but the equivalent english idiom is “walking on egg shells”. i, myself, have been doing a lot of that lately. so how appropriate that we should meet. the show was amazing. two dancers and a mute discussion about the interactions between being human and conditioned responses. in a nut shell, how we act because of society and how we act out of self preservation. i am actually quite proud of myself for understanding the synopsis.

anyways, it was the perfect kick in the backside. i need to get out there and dance again, four months is too long.