Fat Ballerinas

from the blogger who brought you the fives stages of grief moving, now the untold story of one woman’s fight with the “subjunctives” and “pluperfect”. in a land of unintelligible signs, her love for a faithful dictionary and a quixotic verb table form a bond that may have to be surgically severed. she finds that “lost in translation” is a way of life in the five stages of bilingualdom.

school is for the young, especially when it comes to learning languages. i have for the past 6 months - lost my ability to speak my native tongue properly, smelt smoke coming out my ears from brain overload, and had to institute a personal napping policy for my well being. the following are my five stages…

• Stage I: The Silent/Receptive or Pre-emergent Stage. This stage can last from 10 hours to six months. Students often have up to 500 “receptive” words (words they can understand, but may not be comfortable using) and can understand new words that are made comprehensible to them. This stage often involves a “silent period” during which students may not speak, but can respond using a variety of strategies including pointing to an object, picture, or person; performing an act, such as standing up or closing a door; gesturing or nodding; or responding with a simple “yes” or “no.”

  ah yes the pantomime stage, i did very well in this stage. arms flailing about, it was funny.



• Stage II: The Early Production or Emergent Stage. The early production stage can last an additional six months after the initial stage. Students have usually developed close to 1,000 receptive/active words (that is, words they are able to understand and use). During this stage, students can usually speak in one- or two-word phrases and can demonstrate comprehension of new material by giving short answers to simple yes/no, either/or, or who/what/where questions. They can reproduce what they hear and recognize words in isolation.

  speaking like a 3 year old at 34 is a bit hard on the psyche.
  me want go now.



• Stage III: The Speech Emergence or Basic Stage. This stage can last up to another year. Students usually have developed approximately 3,000 words and can use short phrases and simple sentences to communicate. Students begin to use dialogue, can ask simple questions such as “Can I go to the restroom?” and are also able to answer simple questions. Students may produce longer sentences, but often with grammatical errors that can interfere with their communication.

  oh many a gaff has been laid during this stage. the most common expression is the “huh?” from friends and strangers. unfortunately here is were i reside for now.

• Stage IV: The Intermediate Language Proficiency Stage. Intermediate proficiency may take up to another year after speech emergence. Students have typically developed close to 6,000 words and are beginning to make complex statements, state opinions, ask for clarification, share their thoughts, and speak at greater length. They may be able to engage in conversation and produce sequential narrative.

  can’t wait to actually get my point across!

• Stage V: The Advanced Language Proficiency Stage. Gaining advanced proficiency in a second language can typically take from five to seven years.

  uh what! i haven’t got seven years….